Avoid These 4 Behaviors That Derail Conversations

When difficult conversations at work go wrong, they can rapidly devolve into unproductive arguments.

Keep your discussion on track by minding the A-BCDs: Avoid Blame, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.

Blame. Try not to make assumptions about what your colleague is thinking, and don’t make groundless accusations. Keep the conversation focused on facts.

Contempt. Acknowledge when you’ve lashed out in exasperation, and do your best to avoid making judgments.

Defensiveness. Take responsibility for your part in the conversation. Are you open to input, or do you interpret new ideas as criticism?

Stonewalling. Commit to listening and contributing with an open mind, instead of avoiding an unpleasant topic or refusing to participate fully in the conversation.

Any of these behaviors can derail a discussion, so make a commitment to yourself — and your teammates — to avoid them.

Adapted from “8 Ways to Get a Difficult Conversation Back on Track,” by Monique Valcour